the only easy day was yesterday

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

The Possesive Glare


I've never experienced the possesive glare before, here's how it goes for those who, like me, are possesive glare virgins.

I was sitting in the park thats next to my new apartment with the dog - there's tons of dogs in this park almost all the time so it's great for her. So I'm sitting there chillin' readin my Descartes and this pretty girl sits a few feet away - everyone just sits on the hill and hangs out while the dogs play - with her golden retriever. So after my paragraph ends I see the retriever (who by now I've discovered is named nico) is playing with a tennis ball. I like dogs who play fetch. My dog doesn't. So I start throwing the ball and nico goes about fetching it and I strike up conversation with the girl, whose name I've forgotten, as is necessary when you play with someones dog when they are close by. Now I'm playing fetch with the dog - I really love dogs who fetch, I don't know why - and talking to the girl about how much I love dogs that fetch. At some point the conversation dies out and I'm just messing around throwing the ball to nico and letting her catch it (another thing I wish my dog could do) and I see some guy walking over and - I guess me and the girl were gigglinh about something about the dog or something - so this guy walks over and I look over to the girl for that assurance that what I'm laughing at isn't just funny to me - we all know that glance - and the guy sits down next to her kisses her on the cheek and say 'hey babe'. All while glaring right at me. You can't make this shit up, man was it funny. So I said 'what's up' to him and let them be. What a grill, though, he was ready to jump on any fool who tried to snag his meat.

Anyway, the relation between this and the previous post is that this is a little better of an example. The way of nature, and of human beings, is to be possesive of mates, and generally agressive to outsiders, but as an intellectually mature person, I see no sense in possesiveness of loved ones, or in difference of love for different people at all. Support the glare, or support "free love"? That free love thing was sarcastic. I hate when thoughts can conveniently be categorized into movements that have already been written of by previous morons.


The W said...

Posessive behavior in regaurd to mates, i beleive, is a vestigial instinct that goes back to our species' animal roots (obviously we are still animals, but you know what i mean). Some feel the behavior is necessary to hold relationships that are not bound by any outside comitment (marriage and/or love) together. In this case, every member of you species that is not the same sex of your mate is a threat (unless the relationship is a homosexual one) to the continuation of your relationship. This unease, i beleive, has a lot to do with the fact that love (in the human sense) does not exist in the same way among other animals in the wild. Thus, by extension, if one is being possessive over a mate (exhibiting a vestigial behavior), there is a good chance that love is weak in the relationship, and animal like physical attraction is holding shit together.

Surely "free love" as you described it is the more "human" behavior (as it is different from all other animals), however i am not positive that i can categorize something as more human than another we humans still do both.

It is my belief that possessiveness will continue in relationships among humans until one's "true love" is found.

Jasper Yate said...

Well, that's my problem, or rather my question about it; it certainly doesn't follow from behavior typical of our culture - because it is a culture obsessed with doing anything it possibly can to be not human - that we act possesive around our 'mates', which is a very naturalistic reaction. This is why it ties into my question: as the reasonable beings that we consider ourselves to be we should at least be fluent in our reasoning and morality in all aspects of our lives: which one is the route to be taken?

On love. I think our concept of love (and singular partner love) and the reason human love is percieved to be different than that of other animals (another way we try to transcend nature) are merely side effects of language and its inevidable attempt to represent the reality of our emotions (similar to our senses inability to represent physical reality to our brains). It''s one of the harder concepts to break away from, but there is no logical reason I can see to call a girl "my" and to have that one girl be the human that I love above the rest; In being in such a unique predicament as all humans are, and openly admitting that we love out lives and enjoy being alive, how can we do anything but simply love other lives in themselves. I'm really trying to get myself out of the popular mindset that human relationships are either of kin, friendly, or sexual, the latter to whom you get 'married' and then the others take a lesser role in your life until you maybe reproduce and then later on die. Life is more or less scripted for us and seeing what a beutiful experience life can be I don't want mine to be scripted (determinism aside) I want to enjoy it and discover it through my own means to the best of my ability, not through others' constructs.

Anyway so that's what I think. Any kind of answer on the overall question? Or ideas about how to fix the fact that this problem exists?